It's been awhile...

It's been quite a bit since my last post, but a lot of crazy things have happened. I started working at the child development center on base, and I love it. Even though I don't see myself doing this as a career, I love my kids. Having this job with the crazy schedules makes time fly and that's just the feeling that I need. Two weeks after I started my job, I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my father was in the hospital, that he was having open heart surgery because the doctor said for the past year and a half he has been having mild heart attacks. He was lucky to be alive. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to cry, scream run away and hide. I could not deal with something happening to my dad, and not having  Tj the person that I would run to and cry. He was thousands and thousands of miles away, and the only way to talk to him was over text, but that was far from what I needed. I needed him home, I needed a shoulder to cry on. But even through text he managed to make me feel like everything would be okay. However like any serious surgery, the talk that if something went the other way had to happen. Tj spoke to his leadership and he explain what was happening, they advised him to have me call the Red Cross and let them know what was going on, so that if something happened it would be on record. I went ahead and made the phone call, never in a million years did I think I will have to call Red Cross. I went on about my day, there wasn't anything I could do. I had work the next day I was here and my dad in Florida. All I could do was pray that things would work for the best. At 4am I get multiple text messages from Tj trying to wake me up, telling me that they told him he was coming home for 2 weeks on emergency leave. My heart stopped, I was half a sleep and all I could think of was some thing happened and the Red Cross told Tj and I don't know about it. Thank God, that it wasn't like that, the Air Force felt that he needed to be by my side in case something was to happen. Three hours later he was on a plane on his way home and I was making arrangements so that we could travel down to Florida and I get the time off. 

Twenty four hours later I am at the airport waiting to receive my Airman, everything was so unreal and happening so fast, I could not believe that he was coming home for a couple weeks. His plane landed and I get a text from him saying "baby i'm home" The Best text message I had read in 3 months. I was walking as fast as I possibly could through people rushing to get to his arms because all I wanted and needed was a hug. That hug brought this home feeling. A feeling that my heart was complete once again. 

We made it to Florida where my father was getting better and a few days later he was able to go home. We were staying there a few more days to spend time with him. On our last day, my mom had to rush him to the hospital again because he was having chest pains again. At the hospital the doctors said that he was having a heart attack and couldn't figure out why. I didn't know what to do we had to come home Tj was going back in a few days and I needed to go back to work. After talking with my mom we made the decision that it was best if we just came home, that there was nothing we could do anyway. Three days later my mom called and said that the doctors made the decision to do another surgery on my dad because he last bypass didn't work and it was growing scar tissue, which is was was causing the heart attacks. They went ahead and did the surgery again, it's been about 3 weeks since the surgery and my dad is getting better, in a lot of pain of course but getting better.Thank God!!! I'm not sure what I would have done if something happened. 

In the mix of everything i got sworn into the Air National Guard signed my contract and Tj got to see it all. Tj had to go back, his time here at home was done and it was time for him  to go back to finish his deployment. We only have 3 months left, maybe a little less. This second good bye was not something I was looking forward to, two weeks was not enough time to prepare myself, specially with everything that was happening. But we had to do it, duty called. I cried from the moment we left the house, on the way there, saying good bye, on the way home, and until I went to bed. The second time was so much harder, it felt that way at least. It felt impossible to deal with how could he be gone again, if he had just gotten home. Walking through the door and seeing his shoes where he left them, made my heart ache. It was physically painful. And the dogs they were looking for him and all I could do was sit on the couch and cry. 

I read an article on the military spouse magazine (amazing magazine, I would recommend it. Best part it's only 14 dollars for the year you get a print copy, and digital.) in the article another milso explained what deployments where like for her, she said she prayed that the good byes never get easy. And I can tell why, she is right.  Though we hate them, and we wish they didn't have to happen its part of this life. Every homecoming its a chance to fall in love all over again. Every deployment makes our love stronger. 

I miss my hubby even more now, everyday I wish he was home. Everyday I feel like I'm in love with him a little more. He is my best friend, my world, my hero, my everything. I would not change this life for anything in the world.  I have gotten the chance to get know and help, some of the most amazing girls in the world. And though I have yet to meet them, I feel like they are family, like I have known them for years. I feel their excitement, when it was their turn to go to Lackland and watch their Airman graduate. In one case I even helped her with trying to figure out things to get married graduation weekend!! I couldn't help but to feel excited it and happy for them, they were going through things I had already been through and felt like I was a part of it in my own way lol.