Our Family

Our Family

Monday, August 26, 2013

The last push is the hardest.

As this deployment, is almost coming to an end I feel like it's getting hard. Maybe because I am so over being at home alone and waiting. I know I know "you knew what you were getting yourself into, get used to this is only the first one" but I still have the right to at some point stop being so strong and just let myself deal with the emotion as they come. Right now I fee frustrated and angry that time can't go any faster. I think that the hardest part is trying to keep busy to make time go by faster on in my case to not think about time. But even then I still feel like I can't do this last push. It almost feels like I am about to go crazy, all I want to do is scream and kick or something even cry my eyes out. I think is safe to say that I've become very emotional! I try to not to show it t Tj. Sometimes miss him so much all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. But I know that not matter how much I cry, or stay down it's not going to make him come home sooner. I just can't seem to be able to shake off this funk off!

 However this  time he has been away I've been able to make great friends, all of which I can't wait to introduce to him when he comes home. We are planning on having this BBQ to welcome him and his team home I'm really hoping that our other friends that are deployed, but not with Tj come home around the same time so we can just have one big BBQ. I never thought I was going to miss friends so much, but with the little time we all spent together before deployment they became my family. Tj new them from Tech school but for me I met them when I got here, and I  love them all like the were real family. I most admit I worry about all of them everyday. When they left it wasn't just my husband that left ALL of them deployed and it was hard admitting to myself that I was alone here. I miss this guys so much and it makes me sick to know that soon after them come home I might be leaving to basic, and won't get to spend too much time with them.

I was always told that when you are in the military, you don't have friends you are all one big family and we all look out for each other. I didn't believe it until now that's exactly what it feels like. We are one big family and we look out for each other, even when they are miles and miles away, they still take time to message me and check in on me to make sure I am okay. Something friends that I have known all my life don't do.


This last push really is the hardest for me, he is so close to coming home yet it feels like he is so far from coming home, from three digit days count down now to double digits. We have come a long way this deployment, it hasn't been easy at all. Now I just pray that, God brings my hubby and his team and our other friends home safe, it's been a long wait they deserve to coming home in one piece!! I'm so beyond ready to have them home!!!

     

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Best Mother in law a woman can ask for!

   When I was seven years old my father left, leaving my mom to raise my sister and I. At the time we lived in Costa Rica, my mom was an RN there. I remember her working extra hours, sometimes even pick up a whole extra shift, so that she can pay the bills. She loved working the night shift, because they paid more. One day she sat my sister and I down and said that she was going to travel to the United States, to work and try to give us a better life. My sister and I stayed with my nana  (grandmother) for a year (Later my mom made the decision to move here with us). My nana is like my second mom, I go to her for advice just as much as I go to my mom. Every week I call her and talk to her for an hour or two. Even though she is in Costa Rica distance means nothing to us, we are still very very close. After all the four of us went through a lot together (my mom, sister, nana and I). My nana is a very strong women, she raised eight children all by her self, and she gave them the best life she possibly could. My nana and my mom both are strong women, that would do anything for their children.  I always said my mom and nana are the strongest women I know... That was until I met my mother in law.

   When I met my mother in law I didn't know, that I was going to meet such a wonderful woman. My mother in law was a military wife for nine years, my father in law was in the Marines. She was the daughter of a Army soldier. We are just one big military family! Both sides of Tj's family had someone in the military so it kinda runs in the family. In my country we don't have a military, so I don't have a military background, other than my step dad who's father was in the Army and his brother was in the Air Force.. But back to my mother in law....Like all of us military wives, she followed her husband. She ended up living over seas for some time. While she was there my father in law was deployed most of the time. I can't remember the amount of days he was gone but its was something like 200+ days out of the year, at the time Tj was still a baby, so it was a lot of work for her. being in a foreign country not knowing the language with a baby boy, I can only imagine. After my father in law decided to leave the military they decided to move to Florida where he got his pilots license. (My father in law LOVES to fly) As a pilot he flew a lot and was gone for a day or two at a time.But no matter what my mother in law supported him 100% of the time.

  One day Tj came over and said that his dad was going to be taking another job. We talked for hours about it. The job would require for my father in law to deploy over seas every other three months. The company was contracted by the Air Force and had a project in Afghanistan. Once again my mother in law was some how back to the military life! I'm sure my mother in law didn't want her husband in that field again, but she supported him no matter what. She always stands by him. ( I pray every day, that my marriage with Tj is jut as strong as theirs. No matter what she stands by him, supports him and loves him)

   The first year on the job, Tj was in college so when his dad was deployed his mom had Tj to keep her company. Though I am pretty sure she still worried about her husband, and prayed that he returned home safe. Some where along the way Tj, decided that he was going to join the Air Force. Something they were very proud of him for. They had planned to move closer to where my father in law's job was stationed out of, which was here in Virginia. When Tj left for basic we all hope that when he got is first duty station would be close to them, and sure enough we were stationed here in Langley two hours from them.

  I'm sure my mother in law knew Tj was at some point going to deploy, but I don't think neither of us knew it was going to be so soon. I can't even being to imagine what it feels like to her, to have to say good bye to her husband so often. I don't think it ever gets easier, yes they have been doing it all the time because of the jobs, but I don't think it gets easier. And now she had to see her one and only son deploy as well? My heart aches for her! I don't think there are words that can explain the feelings that she might have.

   But even though both her husband and son, are deploying she still manages to stay strong, and smile. And God only knows how much I admire her for that. It takes a special woman to be a military wife, but a even more special and stronger woman to be both. And now I see that just like my mom, and nana she too is one of the strongest women in my life. She understands the part of my life that neither my mom or nana can, because they don't know what is like to say good bye to the love of your life, and have to stay home and worry every day about their safety, and when and if they are coming home. So when I feel down and like crying because I miss Tj I always call her., because I know she knows what I am going through.

  I'm so great full to have such wonderful, strong women in my life as my mothers and role models. They are amazing and if I could ever be half of the mother they are to Tj and I would be so lucky.